Betrayed

The Reality

     

     It's an ugly word isn't it? Speaking from various personal experiences, even with others just betraying either confidences or things previously agreed upon in a serious manner, without any regard for a proper release from them, the reality is; these hurtful scenarios are taking place more often than not these days. Have you had some betrayals of your own which have hurt you deeply also? Well, my objective here is not to dive into bitter experiences, but rather to bring some helpful insights and wisdom to this world-wide epidemic.

                                            

                                                                        Your Not Alone

     

       One important thing to realize is that you are not alone and you and I are also not immune to betraying others either. Yet the person being betrayed is always the one who is hurt the soonest and much of the time with a far greater impact than those who do the betraying. For Jesus, His betrayer caused Him an incomprehensible amount of suffering and agony, which was even foretold. Yet the one who betrayed Jesus is paying the price and is now in infinitely worse shape than Jesus could ever be. This was partially rooted in some very poor choices that the betrayer made. First of all, he was greedy, loved money and was a thief. If that is not enough, then he had a serious problem with a Loving, Pure, Holy and Perfect Authority Figure, Who proved Himself to be GOD, time and time again, right before his face. Yet all of this still had no bearing upon the fatal choice he ultimately made to betray the Son of Man and seal his doom, as Jesus foretold. The point being that even if the person walks and talks with you, eats and drinks with you, shares in practically your entire ministry and is mixed in with many others who are in fact loyal, all because of even your own choice to bring him or her into your life; that same person can end up causing your life extreme trouble, heartbreak, and in some cases far worse. The bible is clear in Amos that we as God's people should not put ANY trust "IN" a man or woman. Now this does not mean that we should not delegate trust "TO" other people, but it does mean that since God is the Only One Who knows the hearts of men and women, we must never allow our trust to be placed in a man or woman and expect from them only what GOD can give us. The Lord spoke this in His word to save His people and probably anyone who would listen, a great deal of heartbreak. Even in the gospel of John, it speaks clearly in Chapter 2 Verse 24 (NKJV) "But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men,  and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man." So if Jesus did not commit or entrust Himself unto those around about Him, then it gives us a pretty clear indication that we should not entrust ourselves or commit ourselves unto anyone but Him(GOD). Keep in mind, though, that even though Jesus did not entrust or commit Himself unto men, He did delegate measures of trust to His disciples and others, even the one He knew would ultimately betray Him, by allowing  Judas to cast out demons and heal the sick on Jesus' behalf. 

                                                                   Trust Delegated

    

     The trust Jesus delegated was indeed measured out to certain individuals more than it was to others. For Jesus only allowed 3 of His disciples to come up on top of the Mountain with Him while He was transfigured and then commanded them not to tell the others of what had taken place up there until much later. Moses allowed Joshua to come up to a certain point on the Mountain where he needed to wait, while Moses went to the top to meet with God, face to Face. David measured out a wonderful portion of his love and trust to his beloved friend Jonathan, whose father betrayed David badly and it might have even saved David's life in doing so. 

     

                                                                   Boundary Line

      

     There is a boundary line which we all have the choice of either keeping in place or allowing others to cross. The boundary is delegating trust to others on one side and placing it in them on the other. Obviously, we can see here which side we need to remain on. It seems to be that many of us have been raised to trust very easily and end up allowing others to cross the line rather easily as well. At the same time, many were raised in the opposite manner, not allowing themselves to trust anyone for any reason. When I say "trust" it means: delegation. It's a choice when most are old enough to reason and not an involuntary action required to make in order to survive, when we were babies. Still other people grew up in moderation and have been taught many lessons from the school of life and trusting is something that may come natural in certain situations with certain people, but discernment has been developed and by reason of use, many have had their senses trained to distinguish good from evil, like the book of Hebrews speaks of in Chapter 5, verse 14. So for these people, trusting is an art which must be carefully exercised, and frankly, this is the class of people whom I have the greatest regard for. The bible is full of wisdom if we will take enough time to not only read it, but to consider and meditate(ponder, go over, rehearse, study out, look deeper into and give much thought) upon it long enough for the Holy Spirit to take what is in our minds and illuminate it so that it becomes revelation in our hearts, which we can utilize and live by.

                                 

                                                              Dealing with Betrayal

     It's never fun to have to deal with a betrayal, but sooner hopefully than later, we must give attention to what has taken place and seek to at least rectify the matter on our end, if we are going to remain well, healed and whole. So here are some things you can focus on when dealing with either a sudden or even a foreseen betrayal:

                                         

                                                                Ways to Deal with It

     

     1. Seek God about it first and foremost with prayer, because the Lord can give us more in just a few minutes of seeking Him, then we could ever come up with on our own. He is loving, compassionate and tenderhearted and can bring: peace, comfort and healing, as He helps us to deal with it,  far better than if we were to try and "go it alone."

     2. Understand that this can come from any man or woman on Earth, no matter who it is (relative, husband, wife, friends, co-workers). If you realize that it "could," and not necessarily that it "will"(thereby expecting it) take place at any point in your life, then at least you will not be "surprised" by it and probably avoid being so greatly devastated by it, even long term.

     3. Remember that we are not immune to betraying others either. So a little understanding and some grace and mercy toward the betrayer may go a long way in these matters.

     4. Take some time away from the person, even if the person is just in the other room, until you are calm enough to properly assess the damage and determine how bad it "truly" was and all of whom and what it affects, BEFORE you just go back in there and confront the person about it. This "evaluation time" may save you endless arguing and backbites both in the short term and long term.

     5. Ask yourself if you have actually placed your trust "in" the person and if you were setting yourself up for what took place all along? Because again, frankly: "people are people and if its pure human, it WILL fail at some point in various ways."

     6. If you have been allowing others to cross the "delegation" vs. "placing in" trust boundary, then firmly decide which way you want to live. Then you will be far more ready and able to prudently predict much of the consequences, outcomes and happenings of your relationships. If you are choosing to remain on the fence, not giving it any thought and being aloof and ignorant to it, as an everyday thing taking place all over the world,(just as Jesus also foretold), then you are choosing to be like an undefended target that can be seriously bombarded.

     7. Once a betrayal has taken place, only dwell on it long enough to thoroughly understand what actually took place and to seek your course of action in a wise manner. Do NOT continue dwelling on it after you have dealt with the issue properly and become bitter over it. Bitterness is defiling and like a virus and it can easily spread out to others wherever one goes. The bible speaks of us needing to avoid bitter roots from springing up and thus "defiling" many.

         

                                                                        Conclusion       

    

     I truly hope this has helped you to maybe understand this subject a little more or better and to hopefully deal with and/or avoid as much betrayal as possible.

God bless you,

Rev. Jason Kruse